Ed Answers Your “Why?” Questions Part III

More questions:

1. Why are there brand names at Payless Shoes?

Answer: To make you feel better about buying shoes made in questionable working conditions.

2. Why are there less Craigslist erotic posts?

Answer: Because 40 attorney generals decided that it would somehow prevent prostitution in America.

3. Why are there very few people in Alaska?

Answer: It’s cold, dark, and Sarah Palin is governor.

4. Why become a Republican?

Answer: To be a rebel. How times have changed.

5. Why can’t you have ham on Fridays during lent?

Answer: While this may seem odd, ham is actually meat.

6. Why Canadians are weird?

Answer: Curling.

7. Why did Freddie Prinze Jr run such a slow marathon?

Answer: Hey, easy on Freddie. He is (or was) a busy man.

8. Why did unions have a hard time getting started?

Answer: Because corporations don’t want their employees to be as organized as the corporation is. That, you see, would be unfair.

9. Why do hippies eat granola?

Answer: It comes from the Earth, man.

10. Why do honey crisp apples cost so much?

Answer: Because they’re so darn good and you know you’ll pay for them anyway to stop whining about it and enjoy your apple.

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