Katherine Kersten went out on a limb in her Sunday column, stating that kids who broke the law by drinking while underage did something wrong. Wow!
But not only did they break the law, some students drank illegally from enormous beer containers. 40 ounce containers to be exact.
For those of you not familiar with 40 ounce bottles, they’re basically bottles that hold 40 ounces of beer. If you’re familiar with the more common 12 oz bottle, imagine that bottle but 3 and 1/3 times larger.
Put another way, an underage lacrosse player could drink just over three normal bottles of beer, or ONE 40 oz beer to achieve the same level of drunkenness.
Apparently, Kersten thinks size matters when it comes to beer bottles. It’s as if 40 oz beer drinking is Eden Prairie’s reefer madness in a bottle. She seems to think that a 40 oz is many many times larger than a typical beer bottle, comparing 40’s to both a “small garbage can” and a “tank.”
If there is one thing I know about high school kids, it’s that they will never take you seriously if you make obviously absurd claims in order to prove your point. For example, telling kids that all drugs are equally dangerous (marijuana, heroin, meth, crack) tells kids that you either don’t know what you’re talking about, or that truly dangerous drugs aren’t that much more dangerous than the weed they’ve tried or watched their friends try.
This is similar to the absurdity of Kersten’s over-reaction to students drinking from large beer bottles. How can she expect kids to take her seriously when they start laughing at her asinine obsession with bottle sizes?
To help Katherine understand the absurdity of her metaphors, I put together this infographic comparing a small garbage can, tank, and 40 oz bottle:
Kersten states that EP students need a class in remedial logic. Takes one to know one, I guess.