Gay Bomb Bombs

Gabe tipped me off to this one. Did you hear about the proposed plan to build a “gay” bomb that would somehow turn opposing troops gay, which somehow would make them incapable of fighting?

Hmmm. How could this possibly work?

We have people of the opposite sex who are attracted to each other today yet can destroy any country we choose at a moment’s notice. Putting them back together is another thing.

Just because people were homosexual doesn’t mean they’d be attracted to each other, just like there are many people of the opposite sex that I’m not attracted to. No, I won’t name names.

Wouldn’t a much more effective non-lethal weapon be a porn addiction bomb? That would have the potential to effect men and women regardless of their sexual orientation (important, since many countries actually allow gay troops into their ranks).

While this could backfire in the long term due to increased forearm strength of the opposition, in the short term, it could distract them long enough to allow our troops to mount a phallic Iwo Jima (or an exposed Lady Liberty) in their city center, causing their armed forces to collapse in exhaustion. A corresponding sanction on personal lubricants would be the key to V-I-C-T-O-R-Y.

3 thoughts on “Gay Bomb Bombs”

  1. UPDATE:
    This project was recently awarded an Ig Nobel Award. No one from the military showed up to accept it.

  2. Abrahams talked to a number of retired and active Air Force personnel to try and get someone to accept the prize in person on behalf of the military. None would.

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