Adult Toys, Mags, Bakery & Lingerie

Jeremy and I drove to Chicago today, and on our way into Madison, we noticed a semi was parked in a farm field with what looked like electrical tape lettering on the side of it advertising an adult toy, mags, bakery & lingerie store. I don’t know about you, but it isn’t every day that I stumble across a bakery along the interstate, and the thought of a bear claw or cream filled chocolate long john really gave me a hankerin’.

So, we pulled off at what I remember as exit 172, but don’t hold me to that. The sign on the semi didn’t mention where the store was, but Jeremy figured it would be right at the exit, and he was right.

While the sign wasn’t promising, I had high hopes that I’d be able to buy a donut from a Victoria’s Secret model who was working on her master’s degree at the U of Wisconsin, Madison.

The store looked like this:

Naughty Novelties

They clearly put more time into the sign on the store than the one on the semi. You’re going to have to trust me on that since I don’t have a picture of the semi ad.

After grabbing some fuel at the gas station next door, I headed into the bakery . . . alone. Apparently, Jeremy was too into the book he was reading, or didn’t share my hankering for baked goods from a porn shop.

So, I walked in the door, and saw row after row of dildos. Beyond that was a wall of lube. Another wall was covered with movies. I went to the back of the store, hoping to find a glazed donut, but was disappointed to find domination outfits.

After fully casing out the store, I went to the front desk in search of their elusive donuts. Perhaps they keep them behind the counter?

The semi toothless guy behind the counter informed me that they don’t have a bakery in the Mel-O-Glaze sense, but, “we do titty cakes to order.” I think that means they do stuff like this.

I didn’t have time to wait for a titty cake, so I hopped back in the car, broke the news to Jeremy, and burned rubber.

4 thoughts on “Adult Toys, Mags, Bakery & Lingerie”

  1. Ok, so being from Madison, I drive there once in a while, but hardly ever around the east side since Mom lives near Middleton. But the last time I went, we drove in that way because we were headed to a place near downtown… and I saw that very same sign, wondering what ‘bakery’ items they could possibly be selling. I think I even read it out loud to my sisters to see if they had any ideas! Thanks for doing the investigating on this one, Ed. I’ll be sure to not bother stopping to check it out the next time I’m curious. 😉

  2. Oh, I thought maybe Carly put you in charge of providing your own birthday cake. Well, in a pinch, I could probably track down a couple day old muffins that some creative frosting could mask into a perky substitute.

    By the way–Happy Birthday!

  3. Hey Ed… think on your way back you could take note of where that place is… I am going to be in need of some such cakes as of the first of April… as I have a certain “anniversary” coming up. Just an FYI!! 🙂

  4. Jill, you really have to see it for yourself.

    Thanks Mike.

    Cariann, I’m sure they could make something special for the twins.

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