I’d just like to point out that my friend Kyle Cannon is not . . .
- . . . a Male Escort from Denver
- . . . an NHRA Driver
- . . . an Assistant Hot Shot Firefighter from Washington
- . . . a Basketball Forward for San Jacinto College
- . . . a Brazilian Jiu-Jistu champion from Kentucky
- . . . an Individual Medley Swimmer from Rockford, Michigan
While he isn’t any of those things, he’s still a good person, has done a few things in life, and looks something like this:

I would have thought he was a male service provider from Denver, but what do I know. And I want to know where you got this picture.
Kyle Cannon, you clearly haven’t spent enough time on http://www.kylecannon.com. If you clicked on services, you’d see at the top of the page that Kyle Cannon is “Denver’s TOP Escort.”
It’s amazing what you can find using Google Images. When will I see these green pants?
It turns out that Kyle Cannon likes to go home from parties early. At least that’s what happened tonight.