The Deets

After parking in the ramp behind Metropolitan Lofts recently, I noticed that a vehicle in the lot had a note on it. Figuring it may be some sort of classic passive aggressive note, I checked it out.

That doesn’t really fit the profile of a truly passive aggressive note. For example, there are no underlined words, and the request seems reasonable. However, is the sign the note writer refers to really that clear? Let’s take a look at the sign:

Okay, that seems pretty clear. Private parking is a pretty cut & dry explanation even without the towing warning.

Additionally, there is a Compact Stall sign on the wall. Let’s pull back a bit:

Seriously? Since when is a Dodge Dakota a compact car?

I feel the pain of the Metropolitan Lofts owner who has to put up with this crap.

I have so many questions about this Green Bay car’s decor:

1. When was the last time the shotgun seat’s shirt was changed? Hasn’t Saddam been captured (and dead) for a while now?

2. Isn’t the Got Milk question kind of strange on a Hooters shirt?

3. Are those clouds on the back seat?

4. Did anyone, ever, really say, “So Damn Insane!” about Saddam Hussein?

5. What is the relationship status of this car’s owner?

6. Where are the Packer colors?

Does cold weather hurt a Prius’ mileage? Yes, according to Minnesotan, Michael Wurzer.

He ONLY got 29 MPG on a recent trip at -13F.

All cars get worse mileage when it’s cold. Duh.

How does that compare to your car’s mileage at -13F? Does your car even start at that temperature?

So, yes, the Prius gets worse mileage in the cold, bringing it down to the mileage of a typical high-mileage car on a summer day.

Photo credit.

FUH2 Edina, originally uploaded by edkohler.

Captured on the Crosstown.

Sometimes, driving a big freaking boat of an SUV just does cut it. That’s when you know it’s time to step climb up into the Nissan Armada:

An SUV named after a fleet of warships. That’s the ticket.

Whether you’re navigating a downtown parking ramp, drive through, or parallel parking, nothing beats the experience you’ll get from the Nissan Armada.

Coming in ‘09: the Nissan Fleet: an SUV so big it makes other drivers poop themselves.

Norway has banned the use of terms like “clean, green, and environmentally friendly” in car ads:

Norway outlaws “green” cars

The rationale for the ban is simple. All cars pollute, even fuel-efficient cars, so calling a car green is a bit of a stretch. It’s like referring to filtered cigarettes as healthy. Norwegian government-type person Bente Oeverli explains, “Cars cannot do anything good for the environment except less damage than others.”

Adam Stein from Terrapass thinks environmental terms have already been bastardized by marketers, so it’s not something to get worked up about.

Personally, it seems like a strange step since as long as people are not prepared to give up their cars, they may as well be able to figure out which cars are the most “clean, green, and environmentally friendly.” It’s all relative.

It seems like a better approach would be to prohibit the use of those terms in cars failing to exceed a certain mileage level.

From Overheard in Minneapolis. I don’t think this girl lives in Longfellow, although she could be a Minnehaha Academy grad:

It’s Important To Share This Touching Story About Loss.

Valet brings around a brand-spankin’ new, completely detailed Volkswagen Touareg.

Female professional to spoiled twenty-something girl: Is that yours? It’s so cute.

Spoiled twenty-something: Oh, it’s okay. I used to have a Land Rover, but I crashed it after only four months, so Daddy was like, “No more expensive cars!”

“For us to be dependent on people that want to kill us . . . that don’t make sense, does it?”

Wise words by the founder of e-ride industries.

See the video here.

1. I had two cars die while driving, resulting in tows of over 100 miles . . . in the same summer. One died around 150 miles North of Fairbanks, AK. The other near Denali National Park.
2. I went tanning in a tanning bed. The first and only time I did it, I ended up with red stripes on my back like the American flag. It was very relaxing until the burn set in over night. I still have two more free tans at that place in Green Bay.
3. I flew a Douglas DC-3 North of the Arctic Circle. No take-offs or landings. But I did bank my way between light clouds on a mostly sunny summer day.

4. I was the photographer for a photo shoot of two men in jock straps. The outtakes were awesome. The expressions on the faces on the photo developers were even better.

5. I helped edit a book for a guy I had never met or even spoken on the phone with. We met on a stock message board, had a common interest in Google, and we clicked. Carly thinks it’s strange that I have “online friends” but I wouldn’t be writing this right now if I hadn’t been tagged by an “online friend” I hope to meet sometime over a Reuben Sandwich.
6. I invited an Internet porn star into my apartment. I used to live on Excelsior Blvd. in Minneapolis near the Whole Foods. One night, I swung down to pick up the mail at the front of the building and noticed a woman standing in the entryway. I let her in, only to find out that she didn’t live in the building (security breach). She seems like a total character so I invited her up to the apartment I shared with a friend, Ben. Ben was surfing the web when we entered the apartment. I grabbed beers for all of us and she started talking to Ben about how she had a web site. Ben looked it up, and sure enough, she had her own porn site. She wasn’t exactly attractive. Eventually, I went to bed, leaving Ben to deal with the porn “star.” He decided to drive her home, but she was having a hard time remembering where she lived so it took a looooong time while I was cutting zzzzz’s. I believe this was on a Monday night. Moral: don’t bring porn “stars” home.

Time to tag some other folks: Kenneth, Mike, and Tim. Let’s see what’s unusual in your past.

It’s very tempting to pick up a 100-pack of these.

I love the contradiction on the site: Don’t put these on other people’s vehicles. Available in 20, 40, or 100 packs.