Camo Bibles: Are they Bullet-Proof

In a story related to yesterday’s bullet stopping bible story, it turns out that a Christian outdoor store is selling the hell out of camouflaged bibles:

Shop targets hunters with camo Bibles

“Our NIV (New International Version) Bible in Realtree camo is our best selling item, followed closely by our camo Bible cover,” said David Lingner, the president of Arkansas-based Christian Outdoorsman, which sells Christian-themed hunting and angling products online.

The cover of this Bible is graced by leaves and tree bark. This enables the devout who also hunt to take their Bible into the woods with them while concealing it from their prey.

My first thought on this was, “Shouldn’t they bibles be blaze orange, or a camo pattern that works orange into the look like you see in the stands at Packers games?” But then it occurred to me that a truly camo bible may do a better job attracting bullets than the blaze orange versions.

[Christian Outdoorsman President David] Lingner said the evangelical enthusiasm for the outdoors went beyond the macho culture of the U.S. South.

“Because we believe that God created all this, when we are outdoors it is really a spiritual experience and we see how awesome it is. It makes being outdoors that much more meaningful,” he said.

God created it, so we need to set down our camo bibles and kill it? I’m confused.

All I know is that Dick Cheney’s assistants should start supplying camo bibles to his hunting partners*.

* In this case, I’m using the term “partners” in the most hetrosexual, camo-bible toting, God-fearing, right-wing manner.

Bibles and Bullets

Here’s a story about a soldier who got shot by a sniper in Iraq but lived due to the fact that a bible he was carrying stopped the bullet.

The story goes on to explain that he was very lucky that he was carrying the bible. It also mentions that he was the only person in his group that was shot.

Do bibles offer superior bullet stopping capabilities compared to, say, the Koran printed on similar paper?

Sadly, a kid in Oklahoma wasn’t carrying his camouflaged bible when an errant shot from police offers who were attempting to kill a snake killed him instead: