1. Why does pollen make you sneeze?
2. Why does tide not want students to wash their clothes?
Answer: Marketing jujitsu.
3. Why don’t US businesses answer the phone on Thursday afternoons?
Answer: Happy Hour.
4. Why free coffee refills?
Answer: Never argue with the under-caffeinated.
5. Why is ace hardware better than true value?
Answer: Cleaner with wider aisles and more friendly, knowledgeable staff, based on my experience.
6. Why is CBS liberal?
Answer: Because they report news.
7. Why is dumping sewage so bad?
Answer: Because it can make you pee out of your butt.
8. Why is ex buying me gifts?
Answer: He/she wants to have sex with you.
9. Why is homeschooling the best choice?
Answer: Because you have trust issues.
10. Why is my sleep number bed so hot?
Answer: Because you’re sleeping on a balloon.