1. Why do i crave soy?
Answer: Your mom went through a sushi phase while nursing.
2. Why do i fart in the evening?
Answer: You went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch.
3. Why do people call each other douchebag?
Answer: They went to the Carlson School of Management.
4. Why do people put slashes in there eyebrows?
Answer: Because they’re gang members.
5. Why do people think their kids are super athletes?
Answer: All kids are born super athletes but few remain that way after being fed raspberry flavored green colored apple sauce sweetened with high fructose corn syrup from Cargill.
6. Why do they cut pizza into squares?
7. Why do we fart in the morning?
Answer: Because we eat the leftover chili as a midnight snack.
8. Why does George Bush want $100,000,000,000 for Iraq?
Answer: Because he needs a lot of money in order to take care of all of his campaign donors.
9. Why does it take so long to get loans on prosper.com?
Answer: Because you want a competitive rate.
10. Why does Minneapolis cover up gang crime?
Answer: We do? Tell me more.