Ed Answers Your “Why?” Questions Park IV

More questions:

1. Why do i crave soy?

Answer: Your mom went through a sushi phase while nursing.

2. Why do i fart in the evening?

Answer: You went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch.

3. Why do people call each other douchebag?

Answer: They went to the Carlson School of Management.

4. Why do people put slashes in there eyebrows?

Answer: Because they’re gang members.

5. Why do people think their kids are super athletes?

Answer: All kids are born super athletes but few remain that way after being fed raspberry flavored green colored apple sauce sweetened with high fructose corn syrup from Cargill.

6. Why do they cut pizza into squares?

Um, Aaron?

7. Why do we fart in the morning?

Answer: Because we eat the leftover chili as a midnight snack.

8. Why does George Bush want $100,000,000,000 for Iraq?

Answer: Because he needs a lot of money in order to take care of all of his campaign donors.

9. Why does it take so long to get loans on prosper.com?

Answer: Because you want a competitive rate.

10. Why does Minneapolis cover up gang crime?

Answer: We do? Tell me more.

3 thoughts on “Ed Answers Your “Why?” Questions Park IV”

  1. Ed, I don’t get #1. What connection does soy have with sushi, except as an ingredient in the dipping sauce? (Some sushi can be eaten without any dipping; some sushi, e.g. inari-zushi, is better served without any dipping.) And unless that mom is the mother of a young teenager, or lived on the West Coast post-1980, she wouldn’t even have known what sushi was in these parts before, say, 1995 … which is when I date the beginning of the great Minnesota Sushi Awareness.

    Am I being too analytical about this? Have I spoiled the fun? I’m sorry if that’s the case, but I think Midwesterners were using lots of soy sauce on other things (like, chow mein or Chex Mix) decades before we even knew what “a sushi” was.

    Now, if the kid had instead asked “Why do I crave rice vinegar,” sushi would be a good answer!

  2. Noodleman, I associate sushi with soy. It’s quite possible that I’m doing it wrong, but I like how I do it.

    I’m up for an education. Let’s make it happen. Next week would work for me.

  3. LOL I didn’t mean to come across so … surly. Sorry ‘bou that. Next week (w/o 12/14) isn’t good for me, though. But, yes, let’s get together sometime. You can tell me everything you know about pizza! (Btw, I like the Roman Market.)

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