1. Why are there brand names at Payless Shoes?
Answer: To make you feel better about buying shoes made in questionable working conditions.
2. Why are there less Craigslist erotic posts?
Answer: Because 40 attorney generals decided that it would somehow prevent prostitution in America.
3. Why are there very few people in Alaska?
Answer: It’s cold, dark, and Sarah Palin is governor.
4. Why become a Republican?
Answer: To be a rebel. How times have changed.
5. Why can’t you have ham on Fridays during lent?
Answer: While this may seem odd, ham is actually meat.
6. Why Canadians are weird?
7. Why did Freddie Prinze Jr run such a slow marathon?
Answer: Hey, easy on Freddie. He is (or was) a busy man.
8. Why did unions have a hard time getting started?
Answer: Because corporations don’t want their employees to be as organized as the corporation is. That, you see, would be unfair.
9. Why do hippies eat granola?
Answer: It comes from the Earth, man.
10. Why do honey crisp apples cost so much?
Answer: Because they’re so darn good and you know you’ll pay for them anyway to stop whining about it and enjoy your apple.