The Captain Gets Catty
Jan.25, 2008 in
Pets
It’s on now. In between posts on “Why You Can’t Argue with a Liberal” and “Blowing up Satellites” Captain Capitalism decided to go after cats and the women who love them: Cats are Not a Substitute for a Boyfriend.
Please don’t shoot the messenger.
I report. You decide.
Swoosh.
January 25th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
You can’t argue with a liberal because they don’t agree with you and it’s just so gosh-darn maddening!
I agree with him though that boyfriends are better than cats. Boyfriends don’t eat you when you die.
January 25th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
when in doubt….blog about cats.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Cats are a substitute for a boyfriend because:
1. They leave things in the house that are smelly.
2. Oftentimes they make you cuss them out for breaking something and/or pissing on the floor in the middle of the night.
3. They stare at you blankly when you talk to them and/or cuss them out.
4. You cater to their eating habits.
5. They lay on the couch all day on the weekend, only leaving to eat or to go to the bathroom.
6. They take up the entire bed at night.
7. They hate baths (only half kidding about that).