The Deets

edacherry Twittered last week:

@angied I’m sure someone somewheres is working on a vibrator you can plug into a usb port…

Working on it? It exists, and there is more than one. This one plays up the fact that you don’t need an external power supply. I suppose that could be handy if you find yourself in an airport bathroom with just your laptop:

Only $16.99 at Overstock.

Pocket-Lint has a write-up about a programmable USB vibe for people who demand custom vibrating action from their USB device.

And Fosfor.se includes a USB Vibrator among their list of 10 Weirdest USB Devices ever. This one happens to have 5 interchangeable latex probes:

The future is here. Carpe USBem.

My Joe 6-Pack understanding of congressional earmarks goes something like this: Every member of congress is alloted a certain amount of federal funding that they can direct to projects of their choice without much congressional oversight, such as a vote specifically on the funding choices. This can be a good thing, since Keith Ellison probably knows better what his Minneapolis constituents need than Don Young of Alaska. Of course, it can be a bad thing if you’re represented by someone like Don Young of Alaska who’s been busy collecting campaign donations and setting aside earmarks for people he doesn’t politically (only financially) represent:

While the number of donors who got earmarks is hard to determine, an analysis of Young’s campaign finance reports show that beneficiaries of just seven earmarks with a total price of $259 million gave the veteran congressman at least $575,000. None of the projects was in Alaska.

Joe Bodell at Minnesota Campaign Report took at look at what Minnesota’s reps have been earmarking. For example, here’s what he found Ellison securing for:

Congressional Earmarks: Pork or Proper?

Freshman Keith Ellison, representing Minneapolis and several of its suburbs, also issued several requests that were eventually included in the final spending bill. He co-sponsored the same $55 million for the Northstar Commuter Rail as Oberstar, and added to that $10.4 million for the Central Corridor Light Rail project (it will be interesting to see what the state legislature does with this project in the upcoming session). Only one of Ellison’s other earmarks (an army medical research project for Phygen Inc.) totaled more than $1 million, and all were focused on social services, public safety, and water infrastructure projects in and around Minneapolis.

Seems reasonable.

So, what about this one: John Kline, who represents the southern part of the Twin Cities, decided that his district deserved none fo the money they were alloted. Are things really running that smoothly to the South?

Dear Future Generations. In the 2000’s, we had a president from Texas who’s international crime fighting policy was basically this:

1. Offer bounties to people living in poverty who are willing to turn in other 3rd world living humans in exchange for cash.

2. Torture the captives to find out if they actually know anything.

3. Don’t allow the tortured to have trials where they could explain the circumstances that led to their capture, how they’ve been tortured, and that they’d like to get back to herding sheep now.

This president managed to scare enough crap out of the public that they were willing to go along with his pro-torture policies.

In fact, it became patriot to be scared.

Yes, we were the most powerful country in the world, but our president’s power came from keeping citizens living with a sense of fear.

Fear allowed the government to carry out known forms of torture on humans with full knowledge of the public. The government managed to convince the public that torturing fellow humans was justifiable. It got to the point that major national news channels like FOX News actually debated whether a torture technique called waterboarding was really torture.

Is waterboarding torture?

Try it on yourself to find out.

That’s what this guy did. Keep in mind that he was in complete control in this situation. He wasn’t locked up in a razorwire jail thousands of miles from home where he wasn’t allowed to see a lawyer.

This is a guy with a weight bench in his home who attempted to simulate waterboarding on himself to see what he could learn from that:

I waterboard!

So, is it torture?

I’ll put it this way. If I had the choice of being waterboarded by a third party or having my fingers smashed one at a time by a sledgehammer, I’d take the fingers, no question.

It’s horrible, terrible, inhuman torture. I can hardly imagine worse. I’d prefer permanent damage and disability to experiencing it again. I’d give up anything, say anything, do anything.

The Spanish Inquisition knew this. It was one of their favorite methods.

It’s torture. No question. Terrible terrible torture. To experience it and understand it and then do it to another human being is to leave the realm of sanity and humanity forever. No question in my mind.

Your tax dollars at work.

It’s worth clicking through to read his full experiment and reactions to the varying degrees of waterboard torture my 2004 Bush supporting friends endorsed by re-electing our torturer in chief.

Alberto Gonzales, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, George W Bush, and everyone who voted for this group in 2004 should run their own self-torture tests to get a feel for the inhumane treatment they’ve authorized.

via Kottke

First Crate & Barrel, now this:

Williams-Sonoma in IDS to close

Williams-Sonoma, Inc. in Minneapolis’s IDS Center is slated to close its doors Jan. 13.

San Francisco-based Williams-Sonoma (NYSE: WSM), a retailer of specialty home products, is in the process a clearance sale. Store employees said that the decision to move was prompted by a shaky downtown retail market.

What’s the yuppie condo crowd supposed to do when they run low on butane for their creme brule torches?

Don’t fret. You can still find $100 toaster ovens on the W-S website.

I swear to you, if I ever get the chance to introduce Trent Lott to an audience - not all that likely, I know - I’m going to borrow my introductory remarks from The Beast:

Old school Dixiecrat segregationist who switched parties along with Strom Thurmond back when Democrats decided to be nicer to black people.

Sadly, that one-sentence bio will still get cheers with some audiences.

The Minneapolis Issues List has an interesting discussion about prostitution on Lake Street. Apparently, there was a recent bust at a “health club” at 515 E. Lake Street. Wizard Marks has some background on the history of prostitution along East Lake near 35W in the thread.

Tom Madden’s post was most interesting to me. His office, which used to be a “house of ill repute,” is three blocks from my home.

Last prostitution business on Lake St.

While I don’t know the details on those two in particular, I was quickly brought up to speed on the history of prostitution on the eastern end of Lake Street as I worked on renovating my office space.

My office is located in a former house of ill repute on Lake Street not far from the river. The renovation process uncovered interesting items including an escape hatch that had been boarded up many years ago. A packet of money envelopes (alas - no money in them) dating back to 1972 that fell from behind a wall we tore down. When pulling down the ceiling, in addition to a bottle of holy water, I did find a $10 check from an individual dating to the early 1970s. I often wonder what would happen if I drove the check to the person at that check’s address to return it to them.

During the renovation, many neighbors came and shared stories of their joint ongoing efforts to get rid of this particular prostitution house. We have many thanks to give to those who worked so hard to clean up this part of Lake St.

Tom Madden
Lowry Hill
Longfellow office

I second Tom’s thanks to those who worked to get rid of this prostitution house. I get the impression that the Longfellow neighborhood, has changed a LOT over the past decade or so.

You may be wondering, “Where is Tom’s office?” Fine, I’ll tell you: It’s at 2945 44th Ave S, which puts it in the building behind the Dairy Queen.

Seriously. That building used to house a prostitution business called Riverside Health Club. I’ve heard nuggets about this from neighbors of mine in Longfellow, but would love to hear more from people who lived around here at the time it was there.

For now, here’s a clip from a 1996 CityPages when someone from their staff stopped by to learn about membership fees:

City Pages - All New! Page 3

Riverside Health Club
2945 44th Ave.

“We don’t have any exercise equipment. I can’t let you inside unless you’re going to pay.” Kim, the trainer who answers the door at the Riverside Health Club is apparently in the middle of her own fitness regimen; she is in no mood to answer the queries of a prospective member. Located in a residential neighborhood directly behind a Dairy Queen, the lobby of the Riverside is decorated with a plastic ficus tree and a silver-and-black deco mirror. It matches Kim’s shiny negligee and robe. As anyone will tell you, nonrestrictive clothing is essential during a vigorous workout. What about monthly rates and introductory discounts? “I don’t have to answer you,” Kim says, conversant in how to exercise her Fifth Amendment rights if nothing else. Though the slight fitness experts, hefty rates, absent equipment and restrictive admissions may be discouraging, the endurance of these businesses suggests that a loyal core clientele have been satisfied. This is known: Day or night, one need never have cause to “work out” alone.

3533 E Lake St used to be home to another “health club”:

East Lake Health Club
3533 E. Lake Street

“We offer a sauna, a shower, and a rubdown for $45,” Sadie explains from behind a Plexiglas window at the East Lake. A competitive price. So how does the equipment measure up? What about a monthly rate? “Um… we have other ladies working, would you like to meet them too?” Why not–a good rapport with a trainer can make all the difference. We meet the other ladies; they strut past the window in bikinis, like models at the end of the runway: “Hi I’m Kathy, how are you.” “Hi, I’m Penny, would you like to come in and try a session?” Their own phenotypic fitness is unremarkable. In the corner of the room is a 35-inch television– possibly used to show videos for aerobics. There is no exercise equipment on-site and no advertised relationship with either Dayton’s or the YMCA. One of the club’s neighbors, R.O. “Dick” Johnson, president of Local 7200 of the Communication Workers of America, notes that the Health Club has been in the community for nearly 15 years. “It seems more active this year than it has been in the past. I don’t know what they’re offering now.” Perhaps those aerobics videos?

Family & Children’s Service has a Longfellow branch at 4129 E Lake St with a program called PRIDE (from PRostitution to Independence, Dignity and Equality) designed to help get women out of prostitution, and an additional program called TeenPRIDE designed to help teens avoid getting into prostitution and deal with online sexual advances.

If you treat jailed teenage criminals like their human, they just may start acting like humans. Or, as The Other Mike, who sent this over, put it: “Son of a gun…the system can work….”

Mo. tries new approach on teen offenders

The ratio of staff to kids is low: one-to-five. Wards, referred to as “clients,” are grouped in teams of 10, not unlike a scout troop. Barring outbursts, they’re rarely separated: They go to classes together, play basketball together, eat together, and bunk in communal “cottages.” Evenings, they attend therapy and counseling sessions as a group.

Missouri doesn’t set timetables for release; children stay until they demonstrate a fundamental shift in character — a policy that detainees say gives kids an added incentive to take the program seriously.

Those who are let out don’t go unwatched: College students or other volunteers who live in the released youths’ community track these youths for three years, helping with job placement, therapy referrals, school issues and drug or alcohol treatment.

The results?

_About 8.6 percent of teens who complete Missouri’s program are incarcerated in adult prisons within three years of release, according to 2006 figures. (In New York, 75 percent are re-arrested as adults, 42 percent for a violent felony. California’s rates are similar.)

_Last year, 7.3 percent of teen offenders released from Missouri’s youth facilities were recommitted to juvenile centers for new offenses. Texas, which spends about 20 percent more to keep a child in juvenile corrections, has a recidivism rate that tops 50 percent.

_No Missouri teens have committed suicide while in custody since 1983, when the state began overhauling its system. From 1995 to 1999 alone, at least 110 young people killed themselves in juvenile facilities nationwide, according to figures from the National Center on Institutions and Alternatives.

Does this qualify as being “tough on crime?” If not, can a politician get elected while proposing rational crime prevention solutions like this?

I couldn’t agree more with Amadeus’ assessment of what you can expect to find on the brunch menus of “fancy restaurants”:

I think there are strict rules when it comes to what can be offered. According to “The Fancy Restaurant Brunch Gestapo”, there will be the following items:

1) French toast with some sort of flair (like a banana compote)
2) Eggs Benedict with or without flair (spinach or some such thing)
3) Omelet(s) with flair (fancy cheese, strange veggie)
4) Some sort of baked eggy flairy thing (like eggs en cocotte)
5) Scrambled eggs with flair (often not actually called scrambled)
6) Fruit and granola

One thing that is often not included in the “Fancy Restaurant Brunch” is any form of the standard American breakfast of two eggs, meat, toast, and potatoes.

One I’d add: If there is a buffet, expect to find smoked salmon.

Shoefiti is a worldwide phenomenon. We spotted shoes hanging from powerlines near the airport in Montevideo, and in the La Boca neighborhood of Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Thanks to Katie for the photo help.