Musically Inaccurate Media

Not many people know this about me, but it’s something that’s bothered me since at least fourth grade. I guess it’s 20+ years now, so it’s time to vent:

I hate musically inaccurate media.

What do I mean by this? Imagine paging through a Playboy, reading a few articles, then coming across a buxom blond playing a saxophone with an upside down mouthpiece.

I picture something like this:

Director: Hmmm. Candy’s pretty hot, but wouldn’t she be hotter with an intrument?

Prop guy: Um, I’ve got a tuba.

Director: No. I need something sexier.

Prop guy: How about a sax?

Director: Ooooh, that’s hot. And sax sounds like sex. Get Candy a sax, stat.

Candy With Sax: Am I supposed to play this thing?

Director: No. Don’t worry about that. Most of this will be photos, and for the video we’ll pump in some Kenny G in post.

Candy With Sax: How am I supposed to hold this?

Director: I don’t know. Like that guy in the E-Street Band?

Candy: Who are they?

Directory: Don’t worry about it. You look fine.

Sadly, Candy will probably end up holding the sax with her right hand on top, making things twice as jarring for someone like myself who can’t get past the musically inaccurate prop. Or, in this case, the sexy girl has no reed on her sax. It doesn’t get much worse than this:

Squirrel Sax

So, what inspires this? A story on WCCO titled, “Not So Upright Piano Found Filled with Cocaine.” Not so upright? It’s not at all upright. It’s a grand.

5 thoughts on “Musically Inaccurate Media”

  1. I’m guessing that’s a WCCO web producer trying to write a clever headline for the video. Not-so-upright. Get it? It’s a piano breaking the law!

  2. Jason, I’m all for clever, but musical accuracy is my hang-up. Just like Playboy photo shoot producers think it’s clever to have babes holding phallic instruments without reeds while displaying poor embrochure.

    Gabe, of course!

  3. My hangup is conductors in movies. Has anyone ever seen a movie with an orchestra conductor who was moving the stick in a remotely realistic pattern?

    How sad is it that the closest approximation I’ve ever seen is Tom Hulse in “Amadeus”?

  4. Sadly, Mozart used to conduct by nodding his head from the harpsichord. The first conductors as such only happened at the beginning of the 19th century. As a saxophonist I too hate technically inaccurate photos of sexy girls playing sax. Put it down and sponge down a sports car instead!

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