Jeremy and I drove to Chicago today, and on our way into Madison, we noticed a semi was parked in a farm field with what looked like electrical tape lettering on the side of it advertising an adult toy, mags, bakery & lingerie store. I don’t know about you, but it isn’t every day that I stumble across a bakery along the interstate, and the thought of a bear claw or cream filled chocolate long john really gave me a hankerin’.
So, we pulled off at what I remember as exit 172, but don’t hold me to that. The sign on the semi didn’t mention where the store was, but Jeremy figured it would be right at the exit, and he was right.
While the sign wasn’t promising, I had high hopes that I’d be able to buy a donut from a Victoria’s Secret model who was working on her master’s degree at the U of Wisconsin, Madison.
The store looked like this:
They clearly put more time into the sign on the store than the one on the semi. You’re going to have to trust me on that since I don’t have a picture of the semi ad.
After grabbing some fuel at the gas station next door, I headed into the bakery . . . alone. Apparently, Jeremy was too into the book he was reading, or didn’t share my hankering for baked goods from a porn shop.
So, I walked in the door, and saw row after row of dildos. Beyond that was a wall of lube. Another wall was covered with movies. I went to the back of the store, hoping to find a glazed donut, but was disappointed to find domination outfits.
After fully casing out the store, I went to the front desk in search of their elusive donuts. Perhaps they keep them behind the counter?
The semi toothless guy behind the counter informed me that they don’t have a bakery in the Mel-O-Glaze sense, but, “we do titty cakes to order.” I think that means they do stuff like this.
I didn’t have time to wait for a titty cake, so I hopped back in the car, broke the news to Jeremy, and burned rubber.