If you didn’t have ham, bacon, or sausage tonight, you’re going to hell. Or something like that. Here are a few fasting tips for  God fearing readers of The Deets.

Fast and Abstinence

“Good Friday and Ash Wednesday are the major days for fasting in general for those who have reached the age 18 and are not yet 60. Abstinence means no meat on those days for those who are age 14 [or over]. General canon law says that all Fridays are days of abstinence — no meat — but if you want to eat meat, you should substitute some other form of penance.

The US rules for abstinence from meat includes all Fridays during Lent; Fast (small meals, no snacks) + Abstinence (as in universal rules — no meat) on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.”

Jesus, there sure are a lot of exceptions to this fasting thing.