Morning Farts vs. Evening Farts

There are times when I really feel like I’m on the cutting edge of an important issue, and this could possibly be one of those times.

The issue: morning farts vs. evening farts.

The questions: Why are evening farts more pungent?

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I’d expect a fart that’s had all night to brew would be significantly more pungent than one without a night’s worth of fermentation. But that’s simply not the case.

I hopped on “The Google” to see what I could find, and found that only one person has ever used the phrases “morning farts” and “evening farts” in the same sentence in the entire history of the world wide web! And I quote from CaptainFuzzy over on Paintball Reviews:

“Seems like morning farts are frequent and booming but lack the sultry aftermass that evening farts do…”

EXACTLY!!!

It’s reassuring to me to know that I’m not the only person in the world who’s experienced this phenomenon.

CaptainFuzzy includes an example:

“I’m on vacation this week and one morning I got up early and ate breakfast with my dad before he went off to work and both of us were ripping ’em like there’s no tomorrow. They didn’t smell though, they were just loud as bloody hell.”

If any fartologists happen to read this, I’d really love an scientific explanation for the inverse correlation between scent and fermentation. If an explanation does not exist, I just may have to go back to school to study Fartology at the School of Fartological Sciences at the University of Minnesota (St. Paul Campus).

6 thoughts on “Morning Farts vs. Evening Farts”

  1. OK, ok I’ll bite… I’m not claimed to have this problem or know anything about it, but if no one else has a theory I have thought about it a little and I have one. Here it is:

    During the day is obviously when we eat and I’m going to make the assumption that you are eating both meat and veggies. The thing that makes farts smell is the sulfur contained in said foods, and veggies contain A LOT of this. Also, veggies take a much shorter time to digest than meat does, so my theory is that the “evening farts” are most rank because of the shorter “lead time” of veggies and the “morning farts” and less noxious because they are a result of the longer digesting foods which inherently have less sulfur. Make sense? Again, I could be full of crap and have no idea what I’m talking about… its just a theory.

  2. Sarah, I think your ability to work the phrase “full of crap” into a fart stench theory is fantastic.

    Do farts generate that fast after meals? I was under the impression that there was more latency than what you describe. We really need a fartologist to step up and explain things.

  3. Yes, you are right, I think there is like a 20 – 30 hour lag time there depending on the food, so my theory could still hold true.

  4. Mike, it looks like you’re right. It took some Googling to get past all the web pages about old-fart veterans, but I eventually found this on ifarted.com.

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